Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, “Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.”

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:”I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the ‘Skins say “I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,” Matt Millen of the Raiders said, “To win, I’d run over Joe’s mom too.”

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: “You guys line up alphabetically by height.” and “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: “I play football. I’m not trying to be a professor. The tests don’t seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school.”

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: “Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.”

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: “That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my fucking clothes.”

Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”

Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships: “I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.”

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record: “We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road.. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.” (1992)

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Never eat with your mouth full.

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.

Sometimes people need what only friends can provide — Absence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over the strings are attached.

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it’s hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.

Be alert – the world needs more lerts.

Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

Friends don’t let friends drive naked.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move dead bodies.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.

With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.

To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

Anywhere is walking distance, if you’ve got the time.

People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege.

Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.

The intention of the Holy Ghost is to teach us how one goes to heaven, not how heaven goes.
-Galileo Galilei

A fool’s brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
-George Bernard Shaw

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but rather, “hmm…. that’s funny….”
-Issac Asimov

The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking… The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.
- Albert Einstein

It would be possible to describe everything scientifically, but it would make no sense; it would be without meaning, as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.
-Albert Einstein

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.
- Oprah Winfrey

Science investigates religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge which is power religion gives man wisdom which is control.
-Marin Luther Kind Jr.

Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don’t know
-Bertrand Russell

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I’m not sure about the former
- Albert Einstein

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it
to your grandmother
- Albert Einstein

Experimental confirmation of a prediction is merely a measurement. An experiment disproving a prediction is a discovery
- Enrico Fermi

Science becomes dangerous only when it imagines that it has reached its goal
- George Bernard Shaw

Once a new technology rolls over you, if you’re not part of the steamroller, you’re part of the road
-Stewat Brand

The people who resist change will be confronted by the growing number of people who see that better ways…are available thanks to technology
-Bill Gates

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic
-Arthur C. Clarke

The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency
-Bill Gates

The Technology shown in Strange Days is an extrapolation.
-Kathryn Bigelow

The number one benefit of information technology is that it empowers people to do what they want to do. It lets people be creative. It lets people be productive. It lets people learn things they didn’t think they could learn before, and so in a sense it is all about potential.
-Steve Ballmer

We don’t have a monopoly. We have market share. There’s a difference.
-Steve Balmer

Whatever you are, be a good one.

As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master This expresses my idea of democracy.

You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.

Everything I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

I don’t know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned
to know who his grandson will be.

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

The better part of one’s life consists of his friendships.

I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to men.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book.

The things I want to know are in books; my best friend
is the man who’ll get me a book I ain’t read.

The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.

He will have to learn, I know, that all people are not just – that all men and women are not true. Teach him that for every scoundrel there is a hero that for every enemy there is a friend. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest people to lick.

I’m a slow walker, but I never walk back.

I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.
I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?

Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper and loss of self-control.

Things may come to those who wait. But only the things left by those who hustle.

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.

We, the people, are the rightful masters of both congress and the courts – not to overthrow the constitution, but to overthrow men who pervert the constitution.
- Abe Lincoln

We know that this mad dog of the Middle East has a goal of a world revolution.
- Ronald Reagan

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
- John F. Kennedy

Those few days after Kent State were among the darkest of my presidency.
- Richard Nixon

Success is the sole earthly judge of right or wrong.
- Adolf Hitler

I detest war; it ruins conversation
- Bernard Fontenelle

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
- Mahtma Gandhi

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
- Robert Orben

The Catholic and the Communist are alike in assuming that an opponent cannot be both honest and intelligent.
- George Orwell

Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.
- George Orwell

Sometimes the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the obvious.
- George Orwell

Myths which are believed in tend to become true.
- George Orwell

To accept civilization as it is practically means accepting decay.
- George Orwell

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
- Napoleon

The believer is happy, the doubter wise.
- Greek Proverb

Those who fail to fail to learn history, are doomed to repeat it.
- Wilston Churchill

Education, Education, Education(well known mantra)
- Tony Blair

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.
- Lord Kelvin

Honey, I forgot to duck
- President Reagan to his wife, Nancy after being shot

Nationalism is power hunger tempered by self-deception.
- George Orwell

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain

I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered at the White House—with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
- John F Kennedy

If a book be false in its facts, disprove them; if false in its reasoning, refute it. But for God’s sake, let us freely hear both sides if we choose.
- Thomas Jefferson to N. G. Dufief

Truth between candid minds can never do harm.
- Thomas Jefferson

The Catholic and the Communist are alike in assuming that an opponent cannot be both honest and intelligent.
- George Orwell

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
- Mahatama Gandhi

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
- Alexander Hamilton

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
- Abraham Lincoln

You are remembered for the rules you break.
- Douglas MacArthur

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.
- Napoleon

Reading is the basics for all learning.
- George W. Bush

In my country we go to prison first and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela

I have opinions of my own – strong opinions – but I don’t always agree with them.
- George Bush

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.
- President Gerald Ford

I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
- Hillary Clinton

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
- G.B. Shaw

Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that.
- Bill Clinton

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
- Abraham Lincoln

We’re concerned about AIDS inside our White House-make no mistake about it.
- George W. Bush

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.
-Clarence Darrow

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
-Maureen Murphy

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party.
-Winston Churchill

The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
- Abraham Lincoln

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy.
- Martin L. Gross

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
- Arthur C. Clarke

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.
- Charles de Gaulle

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
- George Jean Nathan

A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation.
- James Freeman Clarke,

We build too many walls and not enough bridges.
- Isaac Newton

Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.
- Mao Tse Tung

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
- Aesop

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.
- Mao Tse Tung

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where they is no river.
- Nikita

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
- Maureen Murphy

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

There are far too many men in politics and not enough elsewhere.
- Hermione Gingold

An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.
- Confucius

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face.
- Clare Boothe Luce

A conservative is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits.
- Woodrow Wilson

During a campaign the air is full of speeches – and vice versa.
- Anonymous

Conservatives define themselves in terms of what they oppose.
- George Will

Democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill

A politician will stand for what he thinks people will fall for.
- Anonymous

No government can be long secure without formidable opposition.
- Benjamin Disraeli

Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?

Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.

“Good morning,
This is God.
I will be handling
All of your
Problems today.
I will not need
Your help, so have
A miraculous day.”

Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.

A man is as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is.

Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can’t be done.

It is no use to grumble and complain;
It’s just as cheap and easy to rejoice;
When God sorts out the weather and sends rain -
Why, rain’s my choice.

You always have a choice, even if it is only a choice of your attitude.

The only disability in life is a bad attitude.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.

Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it.

Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.

You always have a choice, even if it is only a choice of your attitude.

Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.

The man who has no inner life is a slave to his surroundings.

Positive anything is better than negative thinking.

Misery is a communicable disease.

I have learned to use the word impossible with the greatest caution.

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.

The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.

You have become a mature person when keeping a secret gives you more satisfaction than passing it along.

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.

Don’t love a rose because rose dies in summer,
Love a river because river flows forever.

To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

A man cannot reason with the woman he loves because he cares about her too much.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength;
loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

Even though you may be miles away, you’ll always be close to my heart.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched , they must be felt with the heart.

Scars of the heart are writings of pain from our mistakes so that we may have a history to look back upon as to not repeat the past.

May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness and tied with love.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Why is it that the good things are always hard but the bad things are so easy?

That it shall never come again is what makes life so sweet.

Tell her you love her before its to late,it hurts when shes gone and you cant.

If we do not learn from history, we shall be compelled to relive it. True. But if we do not change the future, we shall be compelled to endure it. And that could be worse.

Loving ourselves means focusing on our positive aspects – the ones that make us feel good about ourselves. With that foundation in place, we can move on to loving whatever we focus our attention on.

The true and loving soul acts like a bee which extracts the sweetness of many flowers to make its honey.

When you are going to be a good lover, you should learn how to get hurt.

Your kiss is like a fairy tale with a happy ending every time.

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand, but the water washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.

Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of ‘you’ to the world.

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.

Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

Live out of your imagination instead of out of your memory.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

The Best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

The Young have aspirations that never come to pass, the Old have reminiscences of what never happened.

We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un birthday presents and only one for birthday presents.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.

Marry an orphan: you’ll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

To a joyful present and a well remembered past. Best wishes for happy holidays and a magnificent New Year.

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.

Like ornaments, thoughts of special people brighten the season and warm our hearts.

I have had a holiday, and I’d like to take it up professionally.

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

The sea from Dunkirk to Dover during these days of the evacuation looked like any coastal road in England on a bank holiday. It was solid with shipping.

Come, woo me, woo me; for now I am in a holiday humor, and like enough to consent.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

Wishing you the blessings of warmth and good cheer this Holiday Season.

One of the special joys of December is telling others we care and remember Love.

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen.

Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

Love makes everything lovely.

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.

Love is friendship caught on fire.

True love will never fade unless it was all a lie.

Love teaches even asses to dance.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.

Where there is love there is life.

Life without love is like a tree without fruit.

Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever.

We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them.
We say we love trees, yet we cut them down.
And some people still wonder why some are afraid
when they are told they are loved.

You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship – never.

The laws of love are written in the heart of every human being by the hand of God